running away – (5) sharing communication

„Sharing is caring“

I stumbled again over an amazing blog-entry: it was about „sharing communication“:
http://michaelwilliammcdonald.blogspot.com/ from Mike McDonald. It was that feeling of amazement that struck me down, when i realised how this point i recognized in myself, in my life.

I always rejected to talk with my brother about things i learned. When a question arose from my brother and i already learned the answer, i immediately got into spitefulnes.
I really hated to talk to my brother about things i knew the answer for. Shit. Emotional reactions came up..

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create and accept emotional reactions towards my brother or anyone, when talking about stuff i „already knew“ and go into spitefulnes because of „don’t want to tell again“.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to react in spitefulnes towards for „thinking“ that, „they should know this and that already!“.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge yet again people by thoughts of „they should knowing it better“.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting thoughts and emotional reactions towards the idea of „not knowing it better“.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself and have reactional and emotional reactions towards myself for thinking that “ i should knew this/that“.
I forgive myself for judging myself for thinking that „repeating or sharing again“ information is a mistake or is „slowing“ my progress down.
I forgive myself or allowing and accepting myself to think that „what i know is what should anyone automatically know“.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself and think, that learning is automatic and that learning is „automatically spreaded and understood“.
I Forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for judging myself for thinking that i „should have known this“.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that I’m sillier for not knowing this/that. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself putting myself into a state of  inferiority and putting others in  a bubble of superiority.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that when i hear some one else judging i need to create reactions in myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge others by hearing them judging other people. I stop my reactions to the judgment-game. I breath, i do self forgiveness o those thoughts, feelings and emotions.
I forgive myself for not realising that judgments are but the outer-explanation of judging his/her-self.

Selfjudgment. Self inflicted Judgments. Self Dishonesty – look: What is it I’m judging? Look and be aware that it’s not something „foreign“, something „from outta space“ – it’s your fucking self.
When judgments are coming up, or the „thoughts“ of judging, i stop. I breath, i self forgive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be mad at myself and frustrated and irritated that I realised a fuck up within myself.

I forgive myself for not realising the coolness in realising/seeing a fuck up within me as like a fucking awesome point/tool of and as self support in living self correction of accepted and allowed fuck up.

I realise through writing I assist myself in communicating with myself as like total self exposure as like ya man this is me inside and out.