so as i again was spending a lot of time playing with the computer (could actually not work for a week), i was not pushing myself for working on myself. In the beginning it is an act of „pushing“ / „attaining“ because, I’m used to „get things coming from elsewhere“ instead of „doing it by myself“. so it is a pushing from inside out. Without pushing i would replay my habits and play and play and play…. without writing blogs for myself or someone else out there. So. stop for a moment. *breath* one, two, three, four…
It’s quite cool to finally be able to understand this world and myself. Where in what i experience myself in. The experience differs extensively by my thoughts and my choice of what i „want to attain“ or what i „want to experience“. What i want… it’s all about … me, me. ME!
This whole experience is based my lifes on, is and was based on „the importance of me“. Like “ i’m the king, you’re not worthy enough to be able to speak with me“, „kneel down to the king of me!“ The word „me“ is like „mine“ without „in“ m-in-e. What do we got?
Creating a mine out of this ego-based „me“. A mine-field!
Besides this idea of the definition of „me“, it’s indeed ego-based. Because, without water, there would not be a „me“, Without air, there would not be a „me“, Without Food there would not be a „me“. Without earth, there would not be „existance“ where i’m existing in. So, there we go – without everything but „me“, i would not be able to use the word „me“. I could never be! Its like the „Unendliche Geschichte“ from „Michael Ende“ (http://www.michaelende.de/en) – without fantasy, there would be no fantasy-world. Simpel as that. Without the origin of yourself, you can’t be – without a birth, you can’t be in existence.
Furthermore, you are dependant of everything but your ego. Your dependant on food, shelter, energy, clothing…. what else. All that is created by others and by other beings on earth. And we pay no fucking respect to them…but say.. „me is important!“.
We need to reconsider the whole existence. We need to give every being on earth the opportunity to talk and to be able to express them self unconditionally. There is no question of „why“ – its just fucking need to be made. No slavery, no massive slaughtering, no „food-machines“, no degrading, no superiority, no less/more… no judging ..
Just plain expressing of one self unconditionally. Wit respect to everything in this world. meaning even your sheets in your bedroom are made from the resources of earth and the unconditional giving from earth and all beings here.
Without this earth, what would we do? Destroying the whole universe with „me“s ? This need to stop. So, how?
More or less: by stopping yourself. Stopping Judgements, Stopping hate, stopping emotional meltdowns, stopping emotional explostions…stopping emotions and feelings. Starting to stop them by forgiving them. Starting to use common sense in a way, that has been ignored for sooooo long. Starting to correct everything, that is in self-interest, self-mebased-ego.
Starting to think about „we“ instead of „me“. Asking questions lol.
It’s quite simple:
Every day i live through i try to remind and note down, emotional reactions or behaviors. Or Judgments i see in my head. So later that day, i work on them to analyse and stop them appearing in my head or cancel their activity (tools: selfforgivnes and self-corrective statements) – let the thoughts „flow through“ but not react to them.
I’m still at the starting point of the desteni i process and i’m learning a lot new stuff about myself and the whole existence, so i keep on going.