running away – day x + 4

„Keep going“, „keep going“, don’t stop.

If i don’t push myself to do workings on me and my process i certainly will never get through this whole matrix of deception inside of my head. I’s just too easy to get lost again, and again… in infinite endeavour.

So – focusing on the here, is letting go of the past. But before letting go, there are big points i need to work on:

1) Judgments

2) Stabilization of myself ()

3) Dishonesty

4) Discipline

5) Application of SF and DIP Material

So again when i was writing about how i directly judge people – i always judge myself. So gotta look more into it. What is it I’m judging? What is it I’m not giving enough patience? Why am i so often impatience?

When i was a child i can remember myself not feeling „important“ enough , feeling not of worth, feeling not „strong“ enough, feeling not „good“ enough, not smart enough. Not experienced enough, not old enough.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that i’m not worth enough. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that i’m not important enough. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for thinking that i’m not smart enough. I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that i’m not experienced enough.

I forgive myself for not realising that there is no comparison needed or important. There is no one better or worser – that is separation. I breath. I correct myself. I realise that humans are equals, meaning that they are equal in their needs, equal in their source, equal in their rights for the living. We all have a lot of shit on our shoulders. We are all in the same fucking boat.


Imagesource: http://knightstar.multiply.com/journal

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